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I am writing this from my bed scraping together what little energy I have. The reason I haven’t blogged lately is that all of last week I have been taking care of my sick children and then my sick husband (no, not a ‘man flu’ but a very bad bronchitis) and on Saturday I too became sick quite suddenly. The doctor told me that it’s ‘quite likely’ that I have a mild case of pneumonia. I don’t remember being this sick ever. Doctors have been recommending for years that I get the pneunovax vaccination but I either get too busy with life and forget or I’m not well enough for a vaccination. Due to my Pancytopenia (see blog entitled ‘Mature Age Renaissance’ Oct 2011 for more info) I’ve been getting the flu vaccine every year so I never get the flu but I frequently get bronchitis – my ability to fight off bacterial infections isn’t great.

Today is the first day with tolerable pain and so am able to sit up in bed and check-out what’s happening in the world via the wonders of the internet before I feel exhausted again and need to rest.

I’m not writing this as a pity piece, it’s more for me to document the consequences of my life with Pancytopenia. Sure, people get sick all the time but I get sick more frequently than anyone I know and it can be a struggle sometimes to just get on with a normal life. I assume as my children get older and get sick less frequently that I will get sick less frequently too if I keep hibernating the way I do each winter. It pains me to hear my nearly 3yr old say “mummy better now?” and yet again I reply “no” or my 6yr old son saying “I wish I could make you better mummy” and having to explain why I can’t play soccer….again. I feel like I must be a boring mother sometimes.

Before I started writing this I was in tears. I feel so helpless and weak right now. I’m so grateful to my DH’s support while I’ve been out-of-action and now his sister has taken over today and taken the kids for the whole day and evening so we can both rest (his bronchitis has gotten worse while taking care of the kids). It is those offers of help that mean so much when life is tough – I cannot express my gratitude enough for all those times when family and friends have helped out. I fear I will be forever in debt to them – how do you give back a priceless gift?